A Buddhist saying states that, in the end, all that maters is how you loved, how gently you lived, and how gracefully you let go of things not meant for you.
This saying has been stuck in my head for a while now. I think I know about love, I write about it!! Even so, I struggle to identify what is love, lust, or infatuation. I’ve come to see lust as feeding a basic human urge, while infatuation feeds the ego. Getting hung up on someone isn’t necessarily about them. Rather, those feelings can be about what they do for me. How they make me feel and how they validate my worth.
There is an inherent problem with that, though. We can’t control other people’s feelings or behavior. So, tying one’s sense of worthiness to another person is doomed to fail. Being human, they will disappoint us in some way or another. They also won’t necessarily have our best interests at heart. By getting too caught up in someone else in an unhealthy way, we give away our own power. We end up on a roller coaster of emotions, in which we are up or down dependent on someone else’s whims. That is no way to live.
Hence letting go of what isn’t meant for me. What doesn’t serve me and my higher purpose. We all have dreams, goals, and values that drive us. The task is to look deep inside oneself, review those values, and determine if the relationship or situation is supporting those values or hindering them.
If the situation is holding you back, its time to let go. Walk away, which is easier said than done. Walking away gracefully is even more difficult. Our ego wants to suck us back in to the roller coaster. Chasing the next high, like an addict. Walking away gracefully means going cold turkey on the ego addiction and moving forward into something new.
Letting go gracefully can be from a relationship, a job, a friendship, or any situation that no longer provides peace.
Hope of something better, a more meaningful love, can pull us forward. That’s where romance novels come in. Reading romance gives us that hope that something better will come along if we trust the universe and ourselves.
Letting go gracefully is really about trusting oneself enough to know it will be ok. Valuing oneself enough to know that you deserve better. By taking on the challenge of gracefully walking away from what doesn’t serve you, the door is opened for self growth that will lead to the best version of life.
What do you need to let go of today?